15 April 2011

Thank you for being such a Ham

When it seems that the world is getting you down, maybe Obama didn't address ending the wars or our unbelievably out-of-control incarceration rates (the largest prison population in the world), or maybe you're just depressed and apathetic about the whole ball of wax - including the Czech kleptomaniac and the fact that some kid just got sentenced to a prison term for possession of a dime bag while Willie Nelson paid a 100 shmackels, played a song, and got off, it's Ken Ham, the Haminator, time.

So here's something to cheer you up.  Step on in to the Creation Museum in Kentucky.  Your host Ken the hammer Ham - where people are constantly Hamming it up with the Ham man.

These folks just confirmed what they'd already known for years - that the earth is 6000 years old, that dinosaurs lived with people, how we hunted them to extinction, and now they can tell everyone who Cain's wife was.  They look pleased as punch, by golly.

The Hammer man would like you to understand that the first humans were just as smart as we are today.  Looking at this picture, I can only agree with the Hamster on this point.

So what's got the Kenimator up in arms this week?  Seems like one of his own, an Eastern Nazarene College professor, has tossed some criticism at the Creation Museum.  Evidently not everyone shares the same knowledge with the first homo sapiens.  Some modern humans think that the earth is billions of years old and that woman did not come from the rib of the first man. 

Evidently there are some Christians who believe that the creation story is mythical.  Naturally this bit of conjecture bites off a bit more ham than the Haminator is willing to let get bit off.  And the Hammer man lays in:  "To claim that Genesis is just an ancient story that “began as an oral tradition for a wandering tribe of Jews” is to attack the Word of God, and thus it is an attack on the Son of God, who is the Word."  The professor got the Hammer's pork all barbecued (I admit it, I have no idea what this even means).

The professor goes on to write that "Evolution does not contradict the Bible unless you force an unreasonable interpretation on that ancient book.  To suppose, as the so-called young earth creationists do, that God dictated modern scientific ideas to ancient and uncomprehending scribes is to distort the biblical message beyond recognition. Modern science was not in the worldview of the biblical authors and it is not in the Bible."

Kenny won't let this blaspheming mock christian prof get away with the rhetoric of a sinner - he calls the professor a liar (pretty harsh stuff).  Then he adds this damning string:  "And where do you read in “the book of nature” that the world is billions of years old and that life evolved? You read this in man’s fallible books, as fallible man who “suppresses the truth in unrighteousness” (Romans 1), as Giberson is doing, then imposes this story (and that’s what it is, a made-up story) on nature."

Sweet lamentations! That's some lickety splitin' arguin' there K.Ham running around and around in circles until no one knows what's up or down.  It's a thing of beauty to see the Haminator getting worked up in a fury. 

Dizzying feats of illogical banter are always reasonably inexpensive entertainment when the world's got you down.  Go check out the K.Ham website - it's priceless or worthless - but always good clean fun without utensils.
You can visit the Ham's site by clicking on the link to it on this page under the blog links.


  1. I don't know what the big deal is. I visited the creation museum with my kids and we had a great time. We had lunch at a prehistoric picnic table surrounded by prehistoric birds and rats gnawing on the garbage in the nearby dump. There was a picture of Jesus walking with Velociraptors hand in hand. There is even an exhibit where it teaches you how to shoot a Brontosaurus with a 12-gauge and carve enough meet to feed the whole village for 10 years. The kids loved it and we felt very comfortable in the fact that we caused the extinction of millions of animals and continue to do so today. The Creation Museum rocks!!!!! Whoohoo! Long live the ignorant elite!