05 February 2014

The Dislikers, the Shirkers, the Nags, and the Shitters

From time to time you meet people who just aren't nice to you and it sucks.  I know it happens to me all the time.  At first you think, 'Is it something I did?' and that quickly becomes 'What did I do?'

The truth may be that you did something.  It may be you did nothing.  It may have nothing to do with you at all.  Unless that person's willing to stake out some time to talk about it you may never know.

And that's the key.  There's plenty we just don't know. It's not something to be ashamed about.  You just don't know.

It hurts to think about someone not liking you.  There's the joke about the doctor who's told the patient's finger hurts when the patient points and the doctor tells him not to point.  But that's nonsense.  It's impossible not to think about those cats who don't like you.  Man, it's like asking a baby not to pee his diaper.  It's hard to forget about the people who disrespect you or ignore you or treat you like the bubonic plague.

I don't have a good solution.  It's one of those things that doesn't just go away especially if you're at all empathetic.  All you can do is try to remind yourself that for whatever reason this person or group of persons hasn't treated you the way you wanted to be treated.

But, and that's a Khoisan but, you don't know why. There's the rub.  Wandering into the unknown trying to figure out why someone doesn't like you is frippery and slippery and probably not worth the energy.  As Scott the Engineer is prone to say, "It is what it is." In this case I agree.

That's kind of what life is all about.  There's a bunch of shit all around you and you have to try to figure out which shit is worth your time and attention.  None of us has unlimited time unless you're a mythological hero like the Doctor.  For most of us, we have to choose what shit we're going to pay attention to.  The reality is that you're not going to be liked by everyone.  That's inevitable and in the end not necessary for being a decent dude or dudess.  There are probably tons of people you'd feel good to know didn't like you because they're dicks.  But keep in mind that if you feel that way about someone it's almost certain someone feels that way about you. 

Am I saying we're all dicks?  In a way I am saying that.  In some atavistic repository of our minds there's this residue of the hunter-gatherer who sometimes had to be a selfish, inconsiderate shithead in order to survive.  Now I don't know if that's what's going on when someone doesn't like you but maybe it is.  Who knows?  I don't.  You don't.  And maybe that person doesn't know. 

Just don't get hung up on it.  It's there and unless someone tells you what's got them all up in arms, there's nothing to be done.  Try to be true to yourself while also keeping other people's feelings in mind.

When you see that person or people, smile, say hello.  If they don't respond, so be it, that's their deal not yours. 


The other day one of our sons was going mad.  He was running around like a banshee, making a mess, screaming, acting as if he had no self restraint.  His mother commented that he had to defecate and said, "He always acts like this when he has to poop.  He's intoxicated with poop."

To which our son replied, "You mean I'm inpoopsicated!"

Yeah, maybe we all get inpoopsicated from time to time.

No comments:

Post a Comment