13 February 2015

lost again or my common unnerving struggles with intermittent dementia

lost again
it's lost again
just when i thought it was where
it was supposed to be
it was all pretend

i could have
remembered better
i could have branded it in my brain
just to find it there
where i thought i left it fettered

they're fleeting
transient occasions,
thoughts are, filtered thru the minutiae
of every second of awareness
a sentient being takes a place in

form perfunctory
chores that leave precious little
room to store where
i've put my damn property

are only things, true
and things can be replaced, of course
but i really wanted to never let
this one thing loose

it's reality
that does this to me
the realization i can't hold on to
the prizes that i've stored
along my countless journeys

so what? as
i knew you would say
and maybe it's nothing and never was
something or maybe it's
a sign of mental decay

i'm getting
old - so are you -
with full stores and little room for new
shelves or newer
ideas to peruse

it's a place
i've been often
not knowing how i've got to
where i am or if
i'm any nearer my own coffin

that's not to
be bleak or morbid
just an observation i hide in storage
as i search thru
all of the things i thought i'd already sorted

i'll never
find it not like this:
upset, worn, and flustered i should 
break down and admit
this search i may as well dismiss

it's lost now
i won't track it down
no matter what closet i look in
or rug i lift
the damned thing's not to be found

it's like that,
life, i suppose
things come in and then they go

for the life of me, though,
after all of this commentary,
i can't remember what i've lost
or why it was even necessary

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