Scott Walker, megalomaniac or OFB?

Dear  Governor Walker,

There was never any doubt that you would stand by your childish lemonade-stand slogan "Wisconsin, Open for Business."  The only questions were what social upheavals your conservative agenda would include and for how much (was that 25 cents written in crayon?).  From the moment the tort reform bill passed, many of us saw the writing on the wall.  Many others were blind to the idea that you were an extremist bent on gaining power.

Along with your henchmen (other republicans such as the unimaginative and unsympathetic Leah Vukmir, business leaders, and that one guy who claims to be an independent who's only an independent if that means he's not a democrat), who are ostensibly as averse to the public as you, you have passed a series of bills that have set Wisconsin up as the next breeding ground for low wages, enormous public transportation issues, inadequate health care insurance, and far greater income, education, and racial disparity.  It is clear that your administration does not represent the people of Wisconsin but only a few of the people of Wisconsin, namely you.

But one thing you have to get credit for is your plan.  "The main thing businesses are calling for is government to get out of the way," you said in Mount Pleasant on Tuesday.  The statement drew loud cheers according to The Journal Times.com. Congratulations, it's reassuring to know that even for lunatics on the fringe family will still show up in support. You have led the charge to withdraw government from business and turn big government into big business for you and your friends.  Perhaps there is some hope in that aim, for Wisconsinites, that you'll eventually eliminate your own job.

As the "open-for-business" governor (the OFB) you have now gone all in; you've shot your wad, so to speak.  Well, OFB, what are you going to do if the jobs don't return and you've only succeeded in handing over piles of cash to corporate interests who in turn have shipped more jobs to overseas markets and have provided their CEOs with huge raises?

One problem you might run into is that the working people in this country still have anti-trust laws and OSHA regulations.  Those are some nagging regulations that corporations really don't like much.  Corporate interests are not wed to worker safety, union rights, or lunch breaks.  They want profit.  Cheap labor provides profit, Mr. Walker.  Now what are you going to do about our exorbitant minimum wage law?  Wisconsin has a minimum wage that ensures even the lowest paid hourly worker earns a living wage.  That's right in Wisconsin the minimum wage is 7 dollars (that's whole dollars not half) and 25 cents (that's a quarter of a dollar).  That's 290 bucks for a full-time (40 hrs) week's worth of work, which is about 15 (fifteen) thousand dollars a year.  Holy shmit!  What is this China?  When was the last time you earned 7.25 an hour, gov'nor, back when you were pedaling newspapers for the State Journal?  You spend more than that on your daily doses of Rogaine and caffeine and that's before breakfast. 

So basically anyone who works full-time at minimum wage is earning just above the federal poverty rate.  And we're the wealthiest country in the world?  Yikes, I'm glad were not the third wealthiest, who knows what atrocities would be taking place then.

Another sticky issue is sick days - corporations don't like paid sick days at all,  OFB.  Milwaukee voted overwhelmingly in favor of the paid sick day ordinance back in 2008.  In another one of those 'you-told-us-so' moments (like the collective bargaining thing), you planned for that too.  Your current ruling party thwarted Milwaukee's popularly voted-in referendum for businesses to provide paid sick days, thanks to the snarky Leah Vukmir (a nurse, even!  Better hope never to end up in her care she'll pinch the IV, ouch).  It was a legal but sneaky move overruling the populace by claiming the populace didn't know what they were voting for. Hmm... I think we did know what we were voting for on the referendum but we didn't know what we were voting for when we got you.

So with all of your aspirations in your hands, you've given yourself a bit more power this week to fill out state jobs, and to block administrative rules used to implement state laws.  OFB, you're plan for Wisconsin is clear as mud now.  As the state's chief megalomaniac, you plan to ensure that WI is stuck in the middle of 1870, with the exceptions of your dependence on the automobile, because that wasn't invented yet, just wait another 11 years or so, and the size of your salary. You want to save WI some money, how about working for $7.25 an hour?

OFB, you have stuck to your plan much like another politician who stuck to his plans.  As that former president once said, "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."   And he also said, "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

Keep it up gov', and you'll live up to those bold words from G.W. when he said, "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."  You'll be another great political leader in the mold of Reagan, Ford, Bush, Clinton, and Nixon (or are those five reasons why we might be screwed).

Sincerely,

Your humble and obliging servant,
Kilgore Spinoza